It Was All Finally Sinking In...

Everything was happening so fast that it really hadn't had time to sink in. One minute I was a new mom going back to work and the next I was getting ready to have brain surgery, I didn't really have much time to think about it at all.

Over the weekend I just spent more time with my family. Sunday my husband and I, and of course little Michial, faithfully attended our 8am Sunday School called the Bible Hour, followed by the church service. Pastor Christian Newsome, our Sunday School teacher, prayed for me in class and Pastor Jerry prayed for me during the service. I had more people come up to me and say they were praying for me than ever before. The news had continued to spread like wildfire, people all over the US had heard between family and friends, and I was on the prayer lists at many different churches.

That night it had finally started to sink in, I was having brain surgery on Tuesday, in less than two days! I started crying that night as we were laying in bed. My husband had to comfort me, and tell me it was all going to be okay. He was being so strong for me and I very much appreciated it, I can only imagine how hard this was on him. Thankfully Michial wasn't old enough to realize what was happening.

Monday morning came and John went off to work. I had got Mikey up, fed him and got ready for my mom and Nana to come pick us up. It was going to be my last normal morning before I was to have surgery. My Uncle Kevin had brought my Nana and Papa up on Sunday to spend the afternoon with us. Nana was staying for a week to help out with Michial while I was in the hospital, but Kevin and Papa had to leave because they both had to work. My mom and Nana came and got us, and we went over to her house. That day we had a great time hanging out and playing games.

We got home that night and went straight to bed. We had to be at the hospital to check in at 5:45am Tuesday morning. I couldn't eat or drink anything after midnight Monday night. John's mom was coming over in the morning to stay with Michial so we didn't have to wake him up to sit around in the waiting room all day. The following days were going to bring on new miracles and challenges! We had continued being faithful to God, and He was just beginning to show us His faithfulness to us!

Finally Some Answers - Surgery Scheduled

The week of July 26th was going to be extremely busy with trying to get a hold of doctors and all kinds of appointments. I didn't go back to work like I had planned on, I had to prepare for the unknown. My mom came over in the mornings because I wasn't supposed to drive and they didn't want me to try to take care of Michial by myself. He was 6 1/2 weeks old.

I started calling the doctors right away on Monday morning. The doctor that we talked to in the ER on Friday night was supposed to talk to the other doctor that night to let him know that I would be calling. Well it turns out he never got a hold of him, so I had to explain everything on the phone. The doctors office wasn't expressing any urgency and we were getting a little frustrated. We contacted Gail, my old teacher that is the head of the organization BeHeadStrong. She was able to get the doctor to take my situation a little more urgently.

The doctors office finally called me back and said that I would need to go see Dr. Cullen, an otologist. He was going to be in on my surgery and I had to have a consultation with him. That appointment was on Wednesday, and I would see Dr. Camarata, the surgeon, on Thursday since that was the only day he was in the office.

My mom took me to Dr. Cullen's office on Wednesday since I wasn't allowed to drive. His office was near the Plaza. John met us there. First I had a hearing test, which I passed. The nurse took us back to a room, which was pretty small. I had to sit in a weird looking chair that might remind you of a chair that you would sit in at the eye doctor, but it didn't have all the attachments for your eyes. John and my mom had to squeeze in on a bench in front of the window, and then we had Michial in his carseat carrier.

Dr. Cullen came in and introduced himself. Then he started to explain the type of tumor I had. The tumor is called an acoustic neoroma. He thought it measured around 5.5cm, which is considered an extra large tumor. The only option at this point was to operate. He told us that this type of tumor is normally found earlier before it actually gets this big, because it normally grows out into the ear and causes hearing loss in that ear, and then it is found because a person tries to figure out why they lost their hearing. In my case the tumor grew into the brain cavity instead of out into the ear and I didn't loose my hearing. Instead it started pushing my brain-stem out of the way causing me other symptoms like balance issues and double vision. He told us that I probably have had this tumor for 10-12 years since they are more common in kids.

He then took us to show us the tumor on my MRI scan. The tumor was big and was definitely pushing my brain-stem out of the way. He told us that he thought I should have surgery within the next week and a half because they didn't want the tumor to get any bigger and start blocking the flow of my brain fluid. I was going to have my appointment with Dr. Camarata the next day and we would schedule my surgery then. My grandma had met us that afternoon and her, I and Michial and went shopping at Oak Park.

The following day we went to Dr. Camarata's office for my appointment. John met us there again and my grandma came with us that day. Dr. Camarata's office was also located on the Plaza right across the street from St. Lukes hospital. We ended up waiting for the doctor for around two and a half hours! Finally the nurse took us back to the room, this one was a little bigger, but we had one more person so it was still crowded! The doctor finally came in and he pretty much told us what Dr. Cullen had said the day before. He explained that I was going to loose hearing in my right ear after the surgery. He told us that they would have to shave part of my head so that they could make the incision from my right ear to the top of my neck.

We scheduled my surgery for the following Tuesday, August 3rd. I had to go in for pre-op on Friday afternoon. I was having my surgery at St Lukes on the plaza, but they let me get my pre-op done at St Lukes South since it was closer to home. This weekend was going to be the last "normal" weekend with my family. This was all happening so quickly, I didn't know what God was doing in my life, but I knew this was going to be the biggest trial I had been through.

Bad News Spreads Like a Wildfire

It was very hard for me to sleep that night with all these thoughts running through my head. Am I going to die? Am I going to see my baby grow up? John's income isn't going to be enough for us to live on, how are we going to survive? I didn't know what we were going to do, but I knew God would take care of us whatever happened as long as we were faithful to him. When I woke up the next morning I asked John if it was all a bad dream. He gave me a sad look and softly said unfortunately not.

Later that afternoon we were sitting on the couch watching TV while Michial was taking a nap, when I got a call from Pastor Jerry Johnston from First Family Church. This is the church that we attend and are members of, so it was no surprise that word had got around. Pastor Jerry wanted to let me know that he was praying for me and he wanted to anoint me with oil the next morning in both church services.

The next Sunday they were having a special service anyways. It was one of Pastor Jerry's illustrated sermon series. This sermon happened to be about when Jesus spoke to the disciples on the mount. So Pastor Jerry was dressed up like Jesus and John happened to be a disciple on stage. After his sermon was over Pastor and his wife Christy called me up and prayed with me, John and Michial in front of the church. He anointed me with oil, and prayed for my healing.

After the service I had tons of wonderful and caring people come up to me and say they would be praying for me. I didn't even know most of these people, and to this day people still come up to me and ask how I am doing and say they are praying for me!

My mom and I had got a facebook message from one of our friends from church saying that her cousins wife had started an organization called BeHeadStong and they help people with brain tumors. She then attached us to a message she had sent her, and I had noticed her name. This was my old 7th grade teacher! She also remembered who I was. We talked on the phone, and we told her the name of the surgeon that they gave us at the hospital. She told us that he was the best surgeon in the Kansas City area. She also told us that she could give us the names of some other surgeons if I wanted to go out of town. I didn't really want to travel to have surgery because I wanted to be close to my family and friends. She also said they were going to send me a packet of information about the organization and some gift cards to Target to help us out with some of our expenses, like diapers and formula. She told us to call her if we had any questions, and to let her know if we had any problems with the doctors office.

I had begun to already see miracles happen. Friday, that doctor happened to be driving by the hospital when I needed someone to look at my scans. Even though he didn't specialize in my type of tumors, he was able to somewhat console us and answer some of our questions. One of my teachers that I had years ago started this organization that was helping us. We had only known for three days, and the miracles had already begun!

Monday was going to be a whole new challenge. Getting busy doctors to squeeze me into their schedules.

The Worst Day of My Life

My time home with baby Michial was coming to an end. I was supposed to return to work Monday July 26th. In preparation for that I was getting a couple of doctors appointments out of the way. My first appointment that was Thursday the week before was my after birth check-up with my OB. During that appointment I asked her about my balance and my eyesight because both were getting worse and not better, I even started having double vision. I told her I was going to the eye doctor the next day to get my eyes checked. She told me that I was probably just overly tired but it was good that I was going to the eye doctor.

So the next day, Friday July 23rd was my eye doctors appointment. I dropped Michial off at my moms house because she was going to watch him while I was at the eye doctor. Unbeknown to me, I was going to find out the worst news of my life. I arrived at the eye doctor and the first thing they did was check for glaucoma, which they always do, then they did the standard eye test. For every setting on the eye machine I still could not see clear. The doctor came in and looked at my eyes and they couldn't figure out why they couldn't even get me to see even close to clear. After doing all kinds of tests, the doctor decided to dilate my eyes. She looked into my eyes and she could see all kinds of swelling in my right eye, and thats why she couldn't get me to see clear. At this point I didn't know what was going on, but I had a feeling it wasn't good.

She left the dark room to go call my family doctor, to see what he would recommend. She came back in and told me that I needed to go straight to my doctor and he was expecting me. She had also called my mom because I had told her that she had Michial and they are friends. She called her because she didn't want me driving because I couldn't see very well and on top of that my eyes were dilated. My mom was on her way to pick me up, and I still wasn't very sure what was going on. My mom had called my husband and he was meeting us at the doctors office.

We arrived at the doctor office and they got us in right away, which never happens. The doctor came in and told us that he was probably going to send us to the emergency room because he wanted me to get a CT Scan and since it was so late on a Friday evening they wouldn't be able to get me in to an outpatient facility. He couldn't really tell us much because he didn't have any scans or anything to look at, so he was just going off of what my eye doctor had told him. He told us that the worst case scenario could be that I had a tumor, but he didn't think that was the case. He said that I probably just had excess fluid around my brain and it wasn't draining for some reason.

So we went to the ER at Menorah Medical Center. By this time the news had got around via facebook and text. Church friends were texting my mom and my husband. When I got into the curtained offed room in the ER, the nurse came in to take all of my vitals. They wanted to test my eyesight, but my eyes were still dilated so I couldn't see very well at all! So they had me change into the traditional hospital gown, and crawl into the ER bed. It wasn't long after that that they wheeled me down the hallway to get a CT scan. There were other people standing in the ER hallway looking at me because I had my white rhinestone sunglasses on since my eyes were still dilated. This only took about 10 minutes. When I got back to the pretty roomy ER room both of my parents were there with my brother, John was there and a friend of ours from church. My in-laws had come to pick up Michial since we didn't know how long we were going to be in the ER. I was joking with them saying the people in the hallway probably thought I was blind because I was wearing my sunglasses!

The on call doctor came in not long after that and told us that she saw something but they needed to do a MRI to verify what they saw. They then wheeled me back again to the MRI room, and I was still wearing my sunglasses! The MRI took longer, and if you've ever had a MRI, you know how much the suck! All the banging and noises that the machine makes won't allow you to take a nap like you'd like too! The technician asked me what type of music I would like to listen to, and I told her Christian, I guess she thought I said Christmas because she turned on Christmas music! The MRI took around an hour and then back to the room I went.

A brain surgeon happened to be driving by the hospital and was able to come by to talk to us. He came into the room a while later, and gave us my results. I had a tumor. After I heard those words I couldn't process anything else that he said. I was thinking to myself, I just had a baby less than 2 months ago, is he going to grow up without a mommy? The surgeon had said that the kind of tumor I had, which he hadn't told us what it was, was typically benign. He told us that the tumor was quite large, yet he never said how big, but I probably wasn't in any immediate danger, but I needed to get it taken care of in the very near future. He said he could admit me to the hospital if I wanted him to, but they wouldn't really be able to do anything until Monday.

I decided to go home, because I wasn't in any pain and I would rather be home with my family anyways. The surgeon gave us the name of another surgeon that operated on these type of tumors to call Monday. They got me checked out of the hospital and my husband and I went to pick up Michial at his parents house.

My life had changed all in one day. One minute I was preparing to go back to work, and the next I had a tumor and was going to have to have brain surgery. My husband I prayed harder than we ever had before that night. We knew that this was the will of God and He would see us through this. All I could think of was Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. And I also thought of Philippians 4:13 - I can do everything through him who gives me strength. I knew God would get me through this, and I knew many people were praying for me already, and there is GREAT power in prayer!

Monday I would have to start making phone calls and scheduling doctor appointments, but for now I was going to spend the weekend surrounded by family and friends!

Here Comes Baby!

June was approaching quickly, and I had my last doctors appointment before the birth of Michial. We set up a induction date of June 9th, because my doc said the baby was already measuring 8.5lbs over two weeks before I was due. During that week my mom took me walking around the mall and eating spicy food at Jose Pepper's (espinaca was about as spicy as I could handle) to induce labor. Well none of that worked, so I had to be at the hospital at 6:45am on Wednesday June 9th to check in. They started me off with some pill that helps you dialate. That was all I needed! I started dialating and I started having contractions! My water broke a few hours later, my husband and I were walking in the hallway and it broke right in front of the nurses station!

Michial John was born about 14 hours later at 9:03pm, weighing 6lbs 14oz, and 19 1/4 inches. My labor went so fast the epidural didn't even have time to kick in! He was a very beautiful healthy baby boy with 10 finger and 10 toes!

When we left the hospital on Friday afternoon Michial weighed 6lbs 10oz, and when we went to his first doctor check-up on Monday he was down to 6lbs 4oz, he lost a whole 10ozs and was having trouble gaining weight. He ended up being slightly jaundice and had to have alien lights as his daddy called them. I think he looked like a cute glow worm! I was breastfeeding and supplementing with formula since he still wasn't gaining weight. He had got back to his birth weight, but he was having trouble gaining anymore. We went to Michial's pediatrician at least twice a week for him to weigh in. It felt like we basically lived at the doctors office because we were there all the time! We noticed that he was spitting up excessively, so we switched him to Similac Sensitive, which is still milk based but lactose free. Michial began to gain more weight, and he hasn't stopped ever since! He has moved up from the 3 percentile in weight to the 50th, and the 5 percentile in height to the 75th. That boy loves his groceries as his daddy says! Someday he is going to eat us out of house and home!

My time staying home with my new baby boy was quickly coming to an end. I was supposed to return to work Monday, July 26th. I had scheduled a few doctors appointments the week before that to get them out of the way before I had to go back to work. It was this week I would find out the worst news of my life...

The Start of it All

The year 2010 started out great with the anticipation of the birth of our first child! I was three months pregnant which was as far as I'd ever been. I had had two previous miscarriages the year before. February 2009 and August 2009. Neither of these pregnancies had made it very far, but when you are trying to have a baby and get so excited over it your world comes crashing down around you when you miscarriage! At the beginning of February 2010 my husband and I found out we were having a baby boy, and he was as healthy as could be! We named him Michial John. Michial was after my grandpa Mike who passed away in 2001, and John is my husbands name.

During my pregnancy I started experiencing awful headaches, increasingly bad balance, and I started getting bad vision (which my vision has always been perfect), My OB had told me that the hormones from being pregnant changes everything, and that it was all normal. I started taking Tylenol PM every night before I went to bed so I wouldn't wake up with a headache. Once I had a headache during the day it was impossible to get rid off since all I could take was Tylenol.

After a few months my headaches were getting better, or at least I had them under control with my Tylenol PM regimen every night before bed. However, my other symptoms continued to get worse. I didn't really express to anyone how bad my balance had gotten, because I thought it was normal. I had never been this pregnant before and I had always heard that you lose your balance when your pregnant, so I assumed it was normal. I even fell one Wednesday evening at Awana, our churches Bible memorization program for children, my husband and I are both leaders. I didn't feel comfortable going up and down stairs and would opt to take the elevator whenever possible.

The rest of my pregnancy went flawless with no problems. I never had gestational diabetes or any of that. I felt Michial kicking all the time, and he always had the hiccups! My husband and I would pray every night for the health of our baby boy. My husband and I went to labor classes, a parenting class, and through that we also decided to hire a doula, which is basically a labor coach, and we also attended a breastfeeding class. As my due date of June 14th grew nearer my anticipation grew stronger! I was so ready to meet my baby boy!